Lead Your Life

I Want To Be An Avatar

On this 5th day of the new year (which also happens to be my 50th birthday), I proclaim my intention to be an avatar.

According to dictionary.com, avatar has three meanings:

1. 1.  Hindu Mythology. the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god.
2. 2.  an embodiment or personification, as of a principle, attitude, or view of life.
3. 3.  Computers. a graphical image that represents a person, as on the Internet.

The one we hear the most about lately is definition #3. Which, on some days, seems mighty attractive. But I am fond of definition #2. Starting today, I intend to be an avatar of truth. Sounds pretty heavy, huh? Well, I've come up with an Easy Three-Step Plan.

Step 1:  Stop worrying about what other people think. A wise woman once told me, "No one around you will be happy if you are not happy." If I can make myself happy, then my happiness will flow out to all around me. I can change the world if I can change myself.

Step 2:  Focus. As a chronic sufferer of SOS (Shiny Object Syndrome), I am challenged by my high levels of distractibility. I promise myself to be vigilant about focusing on only those tasks that clearly move me forward toward my goals, and avoid anything that drags me off course. Goodbye to being an early adopter, at least for this year.

Step 3:  Embrace what is. I have wasted way too much time thinking about, and chasing after, what could or should be. I have skills and talents that I can use NOW, that have significant value and can help many people improve their lives, careers and organizations. Of course I can improve; however, improvements on top of a shaky foundation will not hold.

So while my avatar is not ten feet tall and blue, I think that it will turn out pretty cool anyway. What would your avatar look like?

Soul-Soothing Places?

Is it possible for one's soul to be soothed by a physical location? I believe so.

I am blessed to have found such a place. The island of Martha's Vineyard (only accessible by ferry...or airplane, if you have the means). In fact, I feel the change begin as soon as the ferry leaves the dock. I cannot explain it, although I have tried to write about this feeling many times. All I know is that I feel better here--less stressed, more grounded, even a little smarter.

You can see my descriptive challenge in that last sentence.

I am lucky to be able to spend Christmas and New Year's here. The perfect recharging and inspiration for an exciting year ahead.

Is there a place that soothes your soul?

Networking is Better in Groups

Back in early November, I asked you all to vote in my LinkedIn poll. The big question?

Is it better to have many one-on-one networking meetings, or pull together 4-5 connections to network with you (and each other) over a specific topic?

And the results are in...

80% of you voted for group sessions vs. one-on-one meetings.

Now we just need to figure out what those specific topics should be. What could be so compelling that 5 of your friends, colleagues and acquaintances would want to get in a room and discuss it for an hour?

Stay tuned for ideas...if you have any suggestions, feel free to post them as comments, or shoot me an email.

True Voice: Not a New Recording Format

Today was the first day in years--yes, years--that I got out of bed excited about what is on my plate. Why? 

I have spent a lot of time over the last two weeks really speaking in my true voice.

Going with my gut.

Playing to my strengths.

Have you ever been in a situation where your gut leads you in a different direction than everyone else, but you went along with the group just to fit in? It happens all the time.

Entrepreneurs follow advice of investors, who may not be nearly as invested in the success of the business as the founder. Could this be why so many new businesses fail?

New students follow the rules of the popular kids, just so they don’t stand out at their new school. Could this be why many kids suddenly stop doing activities they enjoyed/were good at?

Women executives feel the need to follow some rules made up by the male-dominated corporate culture, because someone told them they had to in order to be successful. Catalyst's report, "Women and Men in U.S. Corporate Leadership:  Same Workplace, Different Realities?", found that 81% of women said that "adopting a style with which male managers are comfortable" is an important or very important strategy to advance one's career. Could this be why many companies have trouble achieving their goals?

Now you may be thinking, “What the heck is my true voice? I’ve got one voice I use at work, another voice I use with my kids, a third voice I use with my friends, and a completely different voice I use with my spouse or partner.” I argue that if that’s the case for you, you’re wasting your energy.

So how do you find your true voice? Here are some easy-to-follow steps:

1. Notice when you’re using your true voice. You’ll know by the ease with which your ideas come out, and the lack of nagging your conscience does afterwards. Pay attention and reward yourself for speaking with truth.
2. Trust your gut. Coaches say this a lot. Personal coaches say it to their clients; athletic coaches say it to their greatest performers. We say it for a reason:  it’s true. Your gut really does know what’s right for you. The more you trust it, the more you’ll be able to hear it.
3. Change what you can. If you can rewrite/redo things you did using a false voice, please do so. Note the consequences of putting your message in your real voice.

Now this may sound a bit selfish, but…

Being your best and truest you is the best goal anyone can have. Once you find your true voice and start letting it out on a regular basis, you’ll find great and wonderful things begin to happen.

Quick...tell me what you're expert at.

Working on proposals, and meeting with potential client today. Each day I'm thrilled with the validation of my new direction.

Wordle: Simply, Focus

Ever have those days (weeks?) when you're just not sure what you should be focusing on? One tool that I have found incredibly useful is Wordle. Wordle creates word clouds, which show which words most often occur in a given amount of text. You can Wordle passages, or entire blog feeds. For example, I created a Wordle of one of my first posts to this blog. Here's what it looks like:

This word cloud reinforced my hope that I had focused on powerful women in this particular post.

Individuals can use Wordle to focus their personal missions:  write your mission, then create a word cloud to see if the words you used reinforced what you wanted to say.

Organizations can use Wordle to make sure their missions and values are still a good match with their activities:  create word cloud of your organization's mission and/or values, and see if it aligns with what your team is currently working on.

You can change fonts, color schemes and layouts. Print your Wordle, and/or save it to the public gallery for all to see. Best of all, Wordle is free! Give it a try, and post a link to your Wordle in the comments section of this post.

Had my mind expanded this week. Excited about the possibilities. What are you excited about?

Better than a $10 Electronic Hamster?

What could be better than scoring a $10 electronic hamster? How about keeping that $10 in your pocket  and paying someone a compliment or doing a random act of kindness?

Today is Well-Wishing Wednesday! In response to the never-ending messages to spend, spend, spend this holiday season, I've claimed the first Wednesday after Thanksgiving as Well-Wishing Wednesday. It's a day to be civil to one another instead of fighting over toys or parking spaces. And if you have an unquenchable thirst to spend cash, give it away instead. Nonprofit organizations are having their toughest year in a long time, and demand for safety net services continues to rise.

To help inspire you, here are just two of the compliments I'd like to pay:

1. My daughter has done an amazing job of staying on top of her schoolwork and her college apps over the last three months, and her grades are going up!
2. My husband is a rock star in way too many ways to count, and the most supportive person I know.

Try it. Post well-wishes as your Facebook status, or tweet some out via your Twitter account. Those around you will definitely appreciate it, and we may all feel a little less stressed at the end of the day.

Black Friday? Cyber Monday? My Proposal: Well-Wishing Wednesday

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Spending time with loved ones, wearing turkeys on your head (see me and my family, right), eating and drinking whatever the heck you want...all without the extreme pressure of having to buy gifts.

Before I even have a chance to have a turkey sandwich on Thursday night (and watch my beloved Giants get killed by the Broncos), I am bombarded by messages to get out of my comfy chair and shop. Really? Did I ever tell anyone that I would give thanks for the opportunity to be at a big-box store at 3AM for a bargain? And what's "black" about it?

Once Black Friday's over, we're slammed by Cyber Monday. Is this the day we are all supposed to be robots? No...we're supposed to shop online this day. Oy. I'm already worn out and it's still November.

Here's my proposal. This Wednesday, December 2 should be "Well-Wishing Wednesday". Spend no money (who has money to spend, anyway?) buying stuff. Do not go to a mall. Do not shop online. If you feel an unquenchable need to spend cash, give it to charity. Lord knows they need it--demand for services is up, and fundraising is down.

You may ask, "What should I do if I cannot spend $$?" Spend well wishes. Hold the door for someone. Smile at a stranger. Say "please" and "thank you". Post well-wishes on your Facebook status. Tweet some well-wishes. For goodness' sake, please do not spend money because the media and advertisers have spent the last week relentlessly ordering you to do so. Take control of this season, if just for one day.

If we can all do this, maybe Well-Wishing Wednesday will become my second-favorite holiday...